Saturday, July 15, 2017

An old woman wants to get married one last time so she doesn't die alone.

She takes out an ad in the paper that says, "I'm looking for a husband. You must not hit me, you must not walk out on me, and you must be good in bed. If you're interested, come by my house tomorrow so I can get to know you."

The next day, several men show up at her house, but none of them quite seem right for her. The old woman is just about to give up hope when her doorbell rings one last time. She opens the door to see an old man in a wheelchair with no arms or legs. The old woman feels bad for the man so she wheels him inside.

"Thank you for stopping by," she tells him. "But I don't know if you're exactly what I'm looking for."

"Well," the old man replies, "I have no arms so I can't hit you, and I have no legs so I can't walk out on you."

The old woman finds herself actually considering the man and asks "Ok, but what about the last thing? Are you any good in bed?"

And the old man smiles and says, "How do you think I rang the doorbell?"

Submitted July 15, 2017 at 11:57AM by thenakedzombie

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