You've been on it all year!
Submitted January 01, 2017 at 12:00AM by jamez470
...She takes him by the hand to the bedroom and winks at him and says: "why don't you show me if what they say about black guys is true." So he stabs her and steals her TV.
P.S: don't worry, it's ok for me to make such jokes because I'm racist.
Me: "So what you're saying is, you're having some trouble with naan-conformity?"
Dad, you're using Uber.
They wanted an expert on dropping the ball at the last second.
(Ned Stark's voice) "Dadjokes are coming"
That way you start the new year off on the right foot!
Ronda actually gets paid to disappoint people for 48 seconds.
Guardians of the Galaxy
Dave O'Reilly was in the pub one night. When time came to give toasts, he hoisted his whiskey and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
Dave said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, me dear Davey that is very nice indeed!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of Dave's drinking buddies, Francis O'Pope on the street corner. Francis chuckled leeringly and said,
"Dave won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised meself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."
...says ''I'll have a bud light.'' The bartender replies ''You're an American, right?'' The guy says ''How did you know, was it the beer or my accent?'' To which the bartender replies ''Neither, you're the fattest fuck i've ever seen in my life.''
The dentist replies "You shouldn't be here. You should be seeing a psychiatrist..."
The guy replies, "I am seeing a psychiatrist."
The dentist asks, "Well, then what are you doing here?"
The guy says, "Your light was on."
Because she's a real knockout!
But I didn't get a straight answer.
She goes inside to inquire:
Woman: Hi. I want to try on that red dress in the window.
Employee: Well, as you wish, but we have changing rooms too.
This is the first time I x-post, so just tell me if I am doing something wrong.
For the rest of the year
3 guys find out that they have 3 weeks to live. They realize that they have nothing to show for in their lives, so they each decide to try getting into the Guinness Book of World Records. The first guys says, "I have pretty long arms, maybe I have the longest arms in the world!" The second guy says, "I have a big chest, maybe I have the biggest chest in the world!" The third guys says, "I have a small dick, maybe I have the smallest dick in the world!" So they each submit their applications to the Guinness Book of World Records headquarters. A week later, the book is published, and they all gather around to see the results. The first guy opens the book and says, "Hey look! I have the longest arms in the world!" The second guy looks and says "Wow! I can't believe I have the biggest chest in the world!" And the third guys looks and says, "...Who the fuck is [insert name of one of the listeners]?!"
A proud new father sits down with his dad to have a drink. "Well son, now that you have a son of your own its time I gave you something." "Dad you dont mea-" "Yes I do. You've earned it." Says the father as he passes a copy of '1001 Dad Jokes 5th Edition' to the son. "Dad I dont know what to say...I'm honored." "Hi honored," Replies the father. "I'm dad."
I say "What's it so fraid of?"
for the rest of the year.
It's always a tie.
The labels all read "break in queso emergency".
A religious movement.
She says, "Oh man, I'm a huge fan! I've got every one of your albums except the first one."
He says, "I find your lack of 'Faith' disturbing".
I went to the doctor with a hand injury from playing football (in the British sense). I hyper extended my thumb and I have a weird lump on the side. He said there's not much to be done about it. I asked how long the pain might last. He said...
"About two or three months... As a rule of thumb"
And when my dad learned what nickname means, he went like, 'Nick have name and it's nickname!' And chuckled.
It isn't funny but I thought I should post it here.
Be on the lookout for hot singles in your area.
It works on so many levels.
Her aunt was looking for a toothbrush, she walks into the living room.
her: "has anyone seen a Frozen toothbrush?"
me: "yeah, but I let it go"
Teen: Of course not dad!
Dad: Oh shut up Jessica, it's time for you to start bringing money to the house.
She goes inside to inquire:
Woman: Hi. I want to try on that red dress in the window.
Employee: Well, as you wish, but we have changing rooms too.
One shoots but can't hit while the other hoots but can't shit
They share the same middle name.
About 5 minutes
Dad: A lot of people have heart attacks over Christmas, I hope the funeral home isn't too busy.
Me: It's probably dead.
Dad: I'm worried they're running a skeleton crew.
He and his wife decide they won't tell the kids what they are eating.
But the dad gives them a clue 'It's what mummy calls me '
the little girl screams to her brother "DON'T EAT IT'S AN ASSHOLE!!"
Her father was being a prick and wouldn't let us sleep together, which is a shame, because he is a real good looking guy.
She turns over and says, "I'm sorry, honey. I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, and I want to stay fresh."
The husband sadly turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife.
He asks hopefully, "Do you have a dentist appointment, too?"
My daughter and I just a few minutes ago. It was adorable, needless to say.
Me: What do you wanna watch, horseys (MLP) or Elmo World (Sesame Street actually)?
Elmo World or horseys?
Kiddo, you can only choose one!
One! *holds up one finger*
I said, "Your husband."
"What the hell are you doing?" she screamed, shocked at my appearance.
"Quiet woman! I'm hunting decepticons!" I whispered back harshly.
She put her hands on her hips. "You've been sleep walking again! There are no such thing as decepticons!"
I blinked, realizing how stupid I looked.
"I guess you're right! Man I must look like and idiot!" I said.
The toaster laughed.
I shot the toaster.
So I just packed my bags and right...
They're going to make America grate again
Like most tennis players, love means nothing to her.
1 to hold the lightbulb, 4 to hold the chair, and 13,995 to spin the house.
I've since decided to cut Thais with her.
So we can think about a solution in silence.
He gets a boner
i'll leave now...
An alphabet that is more at ease. Bring on the alphabet jokes.
I was delighted.
My coworker/good friend of mine works out in the field performing these surveys and for the latest airport job he said to me that this airport is basically dead and that there's hardly anyone there consistently working in the office, monitoring the radio, etc.
So I asked him, "then what does someone do if they're out flying and want to land there... [start jabbing him with my elbow] just WING it??"
I should be ashamed but I'm still laughing at myself. No I am not a dad (technically).
I reply, "It's Knott."
Kids in unison "Awww."
Me: "Have you heard the one about the cookie?"
Wife: "Is this another one of your crumby jokes?"
Should I be worried?
He had to deal with a Cling-on.
His supporters have a blind trust.
(Not sure if this one translates well to english)
If I founded reddit I'd be searching for better servers too.
One sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just before take-off a little Israeli guy got on and took the aisle seat next to the Arabs. He kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was just settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, “I think I’ll go up and get a Coke.” “No problem,” said the Israeli, “Stay there, I’ll get it for you.” While he was gone, the Arab picked up the Israeli’s shoe and spat in it. When the Israeli returned with the Coke, the other Arab said, “That looks good. I think I’ll have one too.” Again, the Israeli obligingly went to fetch it, and while he was gone the Arab picked up the other shoe and spat in it too. The Israeli returned with the coke, and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to New York. As the plane was landing the Israeli slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. “How long must this go on?” he asked. “This enmity between our people…this hatred…this animosity…this spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?”
A:"Get a Roomba, you two!
Credit to my little sister.
My dad has been making jokes as if he is in a cult, either the cult of landru from Star trek, scientology, or the heaven's gate cult for weeks.
So, today I'm making pancakes while he's telling me I must give myself to Landru, that it would be a good idea to get my thetans checked, Xenu died for my sins etc etc, and so I say to him
"You know, most people just pick the one cult and stick with that."
And he immediately lights up like it's Christmas morning and he's got a god damned Red Rider beebee gun, and he goes
"I can't help it if I'm multiCULTural"
I felt violated, used, and extremely proud all at once.
She said, "Your name is Brian."
I said, "Right. But I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson."
Cos THATS how i roll.
A nun decided that it was much cheaper to just dye the colour back into her worn out clothes instead of buying new clothes. Every year, the nun would go to a nearby dye shop to dye her clothes and hang them to dry.
When she returned to the store for the 10th time, she dyed and hung her clothes. When she came back to get her clothes, they were stiff and uncomfortable. She complained to the store manager and asked why that happened to her clothes.
The store manager replied: "Well madam, old habits dye hard"
A man with a winking problem applies for a position as a traveling salesman and goes in for an interview.
“Looking at your résumé, I can see that you’re more than qualified,” says the interviewer. “Unfortunately, we can’t have our sales reps constantly winking at customers, so we can’t hire you.”
“But wait,” says the man. “If I take two aspirin, I stop winking.”
“Then show me,” replies the interviewer.
So the guy reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out a pile of condoms in all different shapes, sizes, and colors before finally finding a packet of aspirin. He pops the pills and immediately stops winking.
“It’s great you stopped winking,” says the interviewer, “but we can’t have our salesmen womanizing all over the country.”
“What do you mean?” asks the man. “I’m happily married.”
“How do you explain all the condoms?” asks the interviewer.
“Oh, that,” sighs the man. “Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?”
She can't speak Spanish. Each time she wants to buy chicken legs, she would lift her skirt & show her thighs to enable the seller understand her... This went on for sometime. One day, she wanted to buy banana, so she took her husband to the shop..
Because her husband speaks Spanish very well.
A blonde goes to work in tears. Her boss asks, "What's wrong?" She says, "My mom died." He told her to go home, but she said, "No, I'll be fine." Later that day, her boss finds her crying again. He says, "What's wrong?" She replies, "I just talked to my sister, and her mom died, too!"
So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its penis, points to it and says, “Mommy, what is that long thing?”
“His mother replies, “That, son, is the elephant’s trunk.”
“No, at the other end.”
“That, son, is the tail.”
“No, mommy, the thing under the elephant.”
There’s a short embarrassed silence, after which she replies, “That’s nothing.”
The mother goes to buy some ice cream and the boy, not being satisfied with her answer, asks his father the same question. “Daddy, what is that long thing?”
“That’s the trunk, son,” replies the father.
“No, at the other end.” “Oh, that is the tail.”
“No, no, daddy, the thing below,” says the son in desperation.
“That is the elephant’s penis. Why do you ask, son?”
“Well mommy said it was nothing,” says the boy.
The father replies, “I tell you, I spoil that woman...”
I work at a workout shop called Sweat. It's bit of a janky chain store. Soon, after I started working there, I start dating a super cute kelpto who has too much fun stealing. Other than that she's perfect. Winter rolls around and she gets bored.
GF wants to rob my work.
It's like -10° out.
Stores closed so they don't have the heat on but, I have a set of keys. We get into an argument about it. She tells me to help her steal at least one thing from the freezing store or she'll split up with me.
He would smash my head into my keyHDJbdvxhjJDKLXUXBgshdjcmcnGxcNdnckcoNcbcjxndbcjcjkxndJdhhshdbdn
Except Chris Brown
Icy dead people
They've been charged with crimes against huge manatee.
That's three schools now. Maybe teaching isn't for him.
(Joke by Jimmy Carr)
He is still in daniel.
"That's terrible," the woman dispatcher on the phone replied. "Are they moving?"
"I'm not sure, to be honest," Dad said, "But that would explain the suitcase."
That would be settling, though- I can do better than that piece of crap!
Dad: "I've never seen him before" (Referring to the new guy delivering our mail)
Me: "Do you think he's an imPOSTer?"
Nan: I need to nip out later to grab some velcro
Me: I'd buy online if I were you. Velcro is a right rip off...
Nan: No, it's quite reasonably priced I think.
Smiled slightly and left it at that. Two weeks on and she still has no idea!
Since then, my mugging attempts have been much more successful.
A reptile dysfunction.
I said, "no, it doesn't".
A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breastfeed her baby..
The baby wouldn’t take it, so she said, “Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I’ll have to give it to this nice man next to us.”
Five minutes later, the baby was still not feeding, so she said, “Come on, honey. Take it or I’ll give it to this nice man here.”
A few minutes later, the anxious man blurted out,
“Come on kid. Make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!
Friendship between women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it.
Friendship between men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.
On Christmas my aunt gave my son a small box of Swedish fish which he immediately devoured. At the moment he threw the empty box on the coffee table I looked at it with wide eyes and said, "Oh look! Now they're Finnish!" He didn't get it.
"What the fuck is that?" she asked.
I said, "It's a woman masturbating."
"Why is this on your computer screen?"
"I thought you wanted to watch a chick flick."
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.
The letter read:
Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment.
Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope.
Can you please help me?
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.
The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends. Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.
All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.
My mother was talking about a friend of hers who is really skinny because she works out all the time.
Mom: All she does is bike and exercise, she doesn't even have a stomach.
Me (with a purposely bewildered look): Then how does she eat anything?
Many eye rolls and groans were had and my wife just glared at me.
"Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with uncle Philip."
After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you don't have an uncle Philip."
"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now."
"Uh, okay then honey, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."
"Okay Daddy, just a minute."
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
"I did it Daddy."
"And what happened honey?"
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"
"Oh my God!!! What about uncle Philip?"
"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead."
"What...swimming pool? Is this 486-5731?"
I don't understand why.
Who wants to drink water in a bathroom?
...'C' creatures... like cows? Chickens?
In a far away kingdom, the king got married to a beautiful wife. After being married to her for a year, the king started to worry that his beautiful wife might be sleeping around.
So he got a blacksmith to build a device to fit in her ladyparts which will dice anything that goes in. He managed to fit it inside of her ladyparts(don't ask how!) Without her noticing it.
The next day the king descided to take a sudden tour of the countryside and he decided to leave just 5 of his most loyal bodyguards and his court jester 'Anderee' to guard his wife in the castle.
The next day when the king retuned, he wanted to check his suspensions and ordered everyone who was in the castle with his wife to strip naked. To his suprise, all five of his bodyguards had their manhood mutelated, but Anderee didn't even have a single bruise on his man parts.
The king ordered all of his bodyguards to be executed and aproched Anderee.
"Anderee, i knew that you will stay loyal to me, for this, I'm going to give you a lot of gold and gems!"
Exited, Anderee said "tlank loo lour mathethi, i will thladly accepth youl gifth"
A policeman knocked on my door this morning, but I just locked it and sat there in complete silence. After 20 seconds he knocked again, but I just continued to ignore it. The knocks got louder and more frequent but I was determined not to move in the hope that he would just go away. Then he decided to look through the window. He shouted, "Do you think I'm stupid? I can see you in there, sir. Open the door." I said, "You're not coming in mate!" He said, "I don't want to come in, I just want you to step out of the car."
13. Number 9 will shock you!
When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:
"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!"
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
The 1st floor sign reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and The sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the 5th floor and The sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
Three drunks get into a taxi and tell the driver where to go. The driver has an idea of the address so he starts the engine, waits a few seconds and turns off the car. He says, "Alright guys we're here!"
The first drunk tips him £10 and gets out.
The second drunk tips him £20 and gets out.
The third drunk then slaps the driver across the face.
Worried that the drunk had realized the car hadn't moved an inch, he asks the drunk, "What was that for?"
The drunk says, "Control your speed next time. You almost killed us!"
Nothing. Our engineering is perfect.
It's a first-hand account of your secondhand third hand.
In a recent survey, people from Detroit have proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower. In the survey, carried out for a leading toiletries outfit, 86% of Detroit residents said that they have had, if not enjoyed, sex in the shower.
The other 14% said they haven't yet served any time in prison.
One day, Einstein has to give a conference to all the big guys in science. On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him : "I'm sick of all this conferences, I always say the same things over and over !" The drivers agrees, " You're right, as your driver I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give the conference at your place." "That's a great idea ! " says Eistein," lets switch places then !" So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein go on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it. But in the crowd, there was one scientist who wanted to impress everyone and thought of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he wouldn't be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupt the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response. The driver looks at him, dead in the eye and says : "Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I'm going to let my driver reply to it for me."
A New York new yolk.
My 8 year old daughter just made this one up over dinner in little Italy. We're in the city visiting my wife's brother's family who had their first baby last summer. I was pretty impressed and had to share.
And then I saw her face.
So the men can think of a solution in silence.
... her mom says "A WHAT"?!!
The daughter says "a prostitute".
Then the mom says "Thank god... I thought you said a Protestant"
After an hour, worried, she asks her husband:
Have you seen my book?
How to live to become 100 years old.
Ah yes. Yesterday, i threw it away.
Your mother started reading it...
So I'm near our kitchen (but not in it), and my dad is in there by himself. In the middle of the silence I just hear him say "Tupperware? Tupperhere!" And just start giggling to himself. Amazing how they just do it even when they're alone...
So that's a releif.
It's actually 12:
One to screw it in, one to excoriate men for creating the need for illumination, one to blame men for inventing such a faulty means of illumination, one to suggest the whole "screwing" bit to be too "rape-like", one to deconstruct the lightbulb itself as being phallic, one to blame men for not changing the bulb, one to blame men for trying to change the bulb instead of letting a woman do it, one to blame men for creating a society that discourages women from changing light bulbs, one to blame men for creating a society where women change too many light bulbs, one to advocate that lightbulb changers should have wage parity with electricians, one to alert the media that women are now "out-lightbulbing" men, and one to just sit there taking pictures for her blog for photo-evidence that men are unnecessary.
Courtesy my actual dad. He laughed, no one else did.
and she says: "Hey old timer, care to try if you still can?" The man replies: "No honey, I can't." The prostitute says: "We could always try!" The man agrees goes with her and fucks like a 20 year old.
"Jeez," says the prostitute "you said you couldn't!" The man replies: "Yes, I can still fuck, but I can't pay!"
When she next faces him she says "my mum's onya Blade."
I noticed a bird on top of our trash can tweeting away. i told my wife that he was talking trash.
.... an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub... The doorman stops them and says sorry I cant let you in without a Thai.
after all those extra hours I put in.