Friday, July 31, 2015

A teenage boy has something important to tell his father.

"Hey dad I have something to tell you.."

"What is it?"

"Um.. I got my girlfriend pregnant.. I'm gonna be a dad!"

"Wow son, I'm shocked!"

"Hello shocked, I'm son!"



Submitted August 01, 2015 at 02:29AM by r17_

I kidnapped this girl last night...

And she yelled "Please, I don't want to die a virgin!". If that isn't consent, I don't know what is.



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 07:51PM by JediBurrell

How does Bono spell the word color?

With or without u!



Submitted August 01, 2015 at 02:21AM by blanco4prez

My dad threw this gem at me

I have a head injury now



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 11:52PM by fzh

A lonely widow...

A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again. She put an ad in the local paper that read: HUSBAND WANTED: MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, RUN AROUND ON ME, AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.

On the second day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs. The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you...you have no legs!" The old man smiled, "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!" She snorted.

"You don't have any arms either!" Again, the old man smiled, "Therefore, I can never beat you!" She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, "Are you still good in bed???" The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said.... "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 05:06PM by collegemom76

Why did the ghost go to jail?

He got arrested for possession.



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 10:26PM by ethanice

I caught my girlfriend cheating with my best friend.

She was tired of getting beaten all the time, and he was jealous of all my money and property. I was so upset when I found out, that I flipped the game board over and left them to pick up all the pieces.



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 03:44PM by scottyKG

Dad, my girlfriend's pregnant

"Dad, my girlfriend's pregnant."

"I'm not mad just disappointed."

"Hi disappointed, I'm dad."

"Did you jus..."

"Yes."

"You're ready."

"I'm not ready, I just told you that I'm dad."



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 10:30PM by nmhmap

My friend told me he's gonna start using his telescope..

I told him "You'll be an astronomer overnight!"



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 09:19PM by justgentile

My wife was making dinner

My wife was cooking spaghetti and went to make some garlic bread and realized all we had was wheat bread and naan. She asked if I would be okay with the naan as the garlic bread, and I told her, "I think it'll be a naan-issue."



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 07:21PM by admiralkit

I didn't like my new haircut at first

But it kinda grew on me.



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 05:23PM by White_Shade

Did you hear the about the restaurant on the moon?

It had great food and all, but it had no atmosphere...



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 08:23PM by what_was_that_again

My boyfriend got me good the other day...

Brief preface: I work in the entomology lab at my alma mater. A colleague and I had to pick up some beetles from another university on our way to another destination.

Me: Yeah, so, on our way there, we have to swing by UA and pick up those beetles.

Him: Oh, which ones? Paul, Ringo, both?



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 04:05PM by Hindu_Wardrobe

What's the difference between a knife and a feminist?

A knife has a point.



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 06:52PM by swagonomics_101

Go away dad

Dad sits really close to son. Son: Go away. Dad: Towards you is a way, scoots even closer



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 06:29PM by Chrisfindlay

got my mom today

mom: "we should cross the street to stay out of the sun."

me: "I don't know, that side of the street looks kind of shady."



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 05:40PM by iwilltestthisout

Did you hear about the forecast for the rap concert?

They're expecting a Lil Wayne.



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 05:52PM by pm_me_your__riddles

What's the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon?

I can get through one of his skits without laughing



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 01:45PM by ICariboutyou

I dadjoked myself in Reno

I was in Reno/Sparks the other day and I was walking around the Victorian Plaza near the Nugget Hotel. For people who have never been, many things are named after this plaza, including a salon and several other businesses.

Anyway, I walked past a motel called "Victorian Inn", and I thought "Why not just call it "Victori-inn"

So I called my girlfriend to tell her and she stayed silent for a few seconds and just said "No...Just no"

...Well I thought it was pretty clever.



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 04:41PM by genchris

"Update the force, Luke"

Adobe Wan Kenobi



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 12:51PM by BookerGinger

Dad my girlfriends pregnant

"Dad, my girlfriend's pregnant."

"I'm not mad just disappointed."

"Hi disappointed, I'm dad."

"Did you jus..."

"Yes."

"You're ready."



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 01:48PM by nmhmap

Did you hear about the lawyer working for U2?

He did all his work pro bono.



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 01:04PM by KickerofElves123

Went to Pizza Express for a Team Lunch with work

Colleague reading menu: "What's a caper?"
Me: "It's halfway between a shenanigan and a scheme."



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 01:29PM by TheLightInChains

How many tumblrinas does it take to change a lightbulb?

You may think that a burnt out bulb needs to change just because the room is too dark for you to see anything, so it must be changed, but I don't care, it's beautiful, you should respect its right to be burnt out and learn to be more accepting of darker rooms, check your filament privileges you ableist scum. Anyone who disagrees with this is a burnt-out-bulbophobe and a darknessphobe. Thanks for being so understanding.



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 11:20AM by playitagainzak_

Headaches.

A man strides into a bar, grinning from ear to ear. He sets down at the bar and orders a beer. "In fact, make that a round on the house."

The bar cheers, and the bartender brings him his drink, he asks, "So, why the celebration?"

"I am reinventing myself! A new man! Just a month ago, I was miserable. But then..." He laughs. "Then my life changed! I had to put it all behind me. I always wanted to live in California, so I sold everything I had, broke my lease, and moved here. I got an apartment right over there across from the bar, and just today I landed my dream job." He drains half his beer, "Life is GREAT!"

The bartender stands back and beams, hands on his hips, sharing the man's joy, "That's great man...y'know, most guys would not have the balls to pack up and leave like that."

At that, the man lets out a peal of laughter, spilling his beer and nearly falling off his stool. "And that's the kicker! I don't have ANY balls! None at all!" As you might expect, the bartender looked confused. The man leans over the bar. "You see, starting about 10 years ago, I started getting terrible headaches. I mean they were crippling, man. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't eat, Couldn't work...hell, sometimes I could barely walk. And they just kept getting worse. I finally found a doc that found the problem....turns out it was something with my balls, pressing into the base of my spine. The pressure was causing the headaches. I mean...it was a hard decision...but the headaches were ruining my life. I was damn near suicidal. So...well...off they came. And now I'm completely reinventing myself. Next step, get a new wardrobe." He holds up his glass in a toast and drains it, waggling for another as he swallows.

The bartender's jaw has dropped. "That...that's incredible." He turns to fill the glass and looks up as the beer pours in. "Hey...y'know... I think I can set you up." he looks up over the bar and scans around. He quickly sees who he's looking for. "Barry! Hey Barry, get over here...this man needs a new suit." He looks back to the new customer. "This guy's amazing, totally old school. Can size a guy just by looking at him. Makes all of his suits himself, and I'll get him to cut you a deal."

Up walks a thin, bespectacled, immaculately dressed elderly man. He approaches the bar, "Yes?", he says in a clipped voice.

"Got a customer for ya, Barry. Treat him nice, he's been through a lot."

"Ah! You are wanting a new suit?" He looks the man up and down. He pulls his spectacles down on his nose. "A...reinvention of yourself?"

Then man beams, "Yes! Exactly! new job, new city, new friends...and now I need a new suit."

"Hmmm...collar is 15, yes?"

"Yes! Exactly!"

"42 long jacket feels to long, 42 feels too short, yes?"

"Yes! Exactly!"

"I will cut it custom for you. Tall and slender...waist 32..inseam 34..."

"Ah...you got the waist right, but I'm a 32 inseam. Always have been."

Barry waves his hand dismissively and continues his examination. "No...no..you are are a 34 inseam. 32 is too short. A 32 would push your balls right up into your spine. Give you one hell of a headache."



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 10:57AM by klenow

Diarrhea must be hereditary

Because it runs in your jeans.



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 08:59AM by tweektweak123

The train was quite crowded.

A US marine walked the entire length of the train, looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a poodle, owned by a well dressed, middle-aged, French Woman.

The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may i have that seat ?'

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, 'Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'

The Marine walked the length of the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. 'Please, ma'am. May I sit down ? i'm very tired.'

She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'

This time the Marine didnt say a word; he just picked up the little dog. threw it out of the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honor! This American should be put in his place.'

An Englishman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong things, you live on the wrong side of the Ocean. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window.'



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 09:37AM by mallamange

My dad literally just made a dad joke.

He was talking about my best planking times (because he likes to keep me athletic) while looking through a record of my planking times, and believed that I could have worked for a longer duration on one session.

I said, " Yeah, I just got bored."

He retorted, "You didn't get board, you got plank."



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 10:31AM by falafelthe3

What do you call a nosey pepper?

A JalapeƱo business.



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 10:18AM by Pestilence87

A student goes to talk to his professor about his grade.

The student comes up to the professor, "What is this, why did you grade me an 80?"

The professor looks at the exam again, "Yep, an 80 is what you deserve"

The student takes the exam back, and asks "If I'll bite my own eye, will you give me an 85?" The professor is surprised, but still he agrees, at which point the student then takes out his glass eye - and bites it.

The shocked professor then takes the exam back, and marks it 85. The student then says "If I'll bite my nose, will you give me a 90?" The professor is once again shocked, "He can't pull out his nose" he thinks to himself. He finally agrees, at which point the student takes out his dentures, and bites his own nose.

The professor then once again takes the exam, and marks the grade 90.

The student then makes another offer: "If I'll get up on this table, and pee the perfume Coco Chanel on you, will you give me a 100?"

The professor now has to see what this kid can do, so he agrees. The student goes on the table, and pees all over the professor, the professor's shirt is soaking wet, as he goes to to sniff it. "What the hell?! This isn't Coco Chanel! This is piss!"

The student then goes "Fine, we'll leave it at 90".



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 07:33AM by NethioX

Predictably, I offended my wife

But saved the day when I told her she "shouldn't take offense because the cows would get out."

Full on eye-roll, groan and sigh.



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 09:29AM by JeF4y

I made a post to dadjokes today.

Enjoy it, guys. It only happens once in a blue moon!



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 09:20AM by zallen1868

whats the difference between a woman and a computer?

a woman wont accept a 3 1/2 inch floppy.



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 07:24AM by plind24

Why did the the pizza maker quit after he won the lottery?

He didn't knead the dough anymore.



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 08:27AM by Scoot_Ya_Boot

And the Lord said unto John,

"Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 04:25AM by Runner_Ranaan

Cortana for Windows 10 is the queen of Dad Jokes

Me: "Tell me a Joke"

Cortana: "Why did the chicken cross the road, roll around in the mud, then cross the road again? Because he was a dirty double crosser"

Me: Groan "Tell me a Good Joke."

Cortana: "There are two types of people in the world: Those who need closure"



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 04:34AM by theswerto

Thursday, July 30, 2015

When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar. Now get in the car. We're late.

Also, instead of saying "yes" or "no", my dad would say "Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back?" and "Does a snake have armpits?"

If I was standing in between him and the nearest Bruins game, I'd here: "Hey Kleeb, you're a better door than a window, even though you're a pain."



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 12:33AM by Kleeb

"Can I get American cheese?"

Cafeteria worker: "We don't serve American"

Me: "Well luckily I'm Bohemian and Dutch"

Got a 20% discount for making her laugh.



Submitted July 31, 2015 at 01:12AM by Bahug

What does a Clock do when hungry?

It goes back four seconds.

Credits to Cortana (or Bing)



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 11:04PM by samer409

The Cowardly Lion, Aslan, and Cecil are having drinks at a bar ...

They all look worn out so the bartender asks them why they look so beat.

The Cowardly Lion goes first and says, "Man, you have no idea what I went through just to get courage."

Aslan then chimes in quickly after that and says, "Nonsense, you have no idea what I went through just to get Narnia united."

There's a pause so they all look at Cecil. He raises his eyes from his drink and quietly says, "Oh yeah? You have no idea what I went through just to get a cavity filled."



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 09:02PM by DreadnaughtHamster

My six year old son caught me masturbating this morning

He said, "What are you doing daddy?"

"It's called wanking," I replied. "You'll be doing this soon."

"Why, daddy?" he asked.

"Because my arm is fucking killing me."



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 07:54PM by eninc

A little boy walks in on his parents........

A little boy walks in on his parents having sex. The dad, all flustered, tries to explain to him what was going on. -Well, you know how you've always wanted a little brother?....that's what I was doing with mommy. I was putting your little brother inside mommy. The little guy seems content with the explanation, and the dad is quite proud of himself for having thought of it. A couple of weeks later, the dad comes home from work to find the little boy crying on the front steps. -What's wrong buddy...why're you crying? -My baby brother. -What about him? -The mailman came by today....AND ATE HIIIIMM!!



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 03:46PM by deflectiveone

What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One's a crusty bus station, and the other's a busty crustacean.



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 08:05PM by truth_artist

While driving home from vacation

My dad was driving, I was in the passenger seat. It was a long drive, so I took a little nap. When I woke up:

Dad:"Did you have a good nap?"

Me:"Yeah."

Dad:"Me too."



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 07:42PM by Scipio33

Dad, what is the difference?

An eleven year old boy comes home from school and tells his Dad, "Dad, I keep hearing the boys at school use the bad words Pussy and Cunt but I don't know what the difference is."
Dad: "Go get that Penthouse magazine in my nightstand and I'll show you."
The boy runs off to get the magazine and returns breathless.
Dad: Opens the magazine to a picture of a nude woman lying on a bed and draws a circle around the Pussy with his pen. "Son, you see that circle? Everything inside that circle is the Pussy."
Son: "So what is a Cunt then?"
Dad: "Everything outside the circle."



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 05:16PM by PKFoxwell

I pointed a tape gun at coworker as he passed by and shouted "Beep beep, you're speeding, sir. Gotta get you a ticket"

Coworker: "Nah, how you gonna prove it?"

Me: "Easy, I have it here on tape!"



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 06:51PM by majorpun

I just discovered r/dadjokes today

I've been browsing it all day and annoying my family by reading every post out to them.

After enough torture the app stopped working.

I told them "Aww the app crashed...

I guess it wasn't a very good driver."



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 07:13PM by Tater8q3

How do you think the unthinkable?

With an itheberg



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 12:22PM by ChurchOfSkatan

A very handsome man gets into a terrible car accident....

The doctors save his life, but he loses one eye. Before a nice glass one can be fitted, he is temporarily given a wooden eye.

The man becomes very depressed because of his eye loss and sits at home, moping around. Eventually his friends come over and drag him out to a bar to try and cheer him up. While at the bar, he's still just sitting there looking depressed, not really talking. One of his friends suggests he tries to talk to a cute girl who seems alone at the bar.

"No, she'll never go for a man with a wooden eye," the man says.

"Okay, how about that girl over there?" His friend responds. "She has a really big nose".

The man walks over to the girl and asks, "Would you like to dance?"

Very excited, and shocked, to be asked to dance by such an attractive man, the woman responses "Would, I?! Would I?!"

To which the man quickly responds "Big nose! Big nose!"



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 05:08PM by Yankee9204

When is a road not a road anymore?

When it turns into a driveway.



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 04:14PM by Anthokne

Have you tried that new sausage...

...dont, its the wurst.



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 03:38PM by Coontail_Jones

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take"

is terrible advice for a recovering alcoholic.



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 01:10PM by lancasterquell

Did you guys hear the sad news about the Calzone business..?

It folded



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 04:18PM by LookAtMyPartyDisco

My roommate's been watching The Twilight Zone

He walked out into the living room today and said "I thought Twilight Zone was supposed to be in black and white, but all I see are white guys"



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 04:14PM by chaosnanny

Why did the cookie go to the doctor...

Because he felt crummy.



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 03:58PM by Anthokne

My wife thinks it's seductive to bite her lip.

I haven't the heart to tell her it's supposed to be the bottom one.



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 10:08AM by _Occams-Chainsaw_

Dad, do you fast on Yom Kippur?

Yea, between meals.

Every Jewish dad ever.



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 01:46PM by reggit_

Got My Co-Worker Today

Co-Worker: adamo57, look at that dog going into the bank!

Me: He just wants to make a woofdrawl, let him be.

...She got up and left



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 02:49PM by adamo57

What is the minimal force required to defend a graveyard?

A skeleton crew.



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 11:41AM by TaohRihze

A wife texted her husband

A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text: "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!" The husband, typically non-romantic, replied: "I am on the toilet. Please advise."



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 10:45AM by Zeolance

Is it windy?

A little, but not mind blowing.



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 09:52AM by Airmokade

A man always smoked two cigarettes at a time

When people asked him why, he answered: i'm smoking one for myself and one for my brother in jail.

One day he was smoking only one, so people gladly asked "is your brother out of jail?" He answered: "no, I quit"



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 08:51AM by unstableconnection

Me and my boyfriend haven't had much sex lately

I told him that I was hungry. He replied with "hi hungry, I'm horny.''



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 08:43AM by booofedoof

Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac?

He lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 09:47AM by evil-frank

How do you get a one handed Newfie out of a tree?

Wave at him :)



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 10:08AM by Bromoseexual

A young Korean couple are lying in bed...

When the guy starts farting nonstop.

The girl, unable to take the smell, says, "Stop, that's disgusting!"

"Don't blame me", the guy says. "It's the dog."

"Oh, don't blame him", she says. "He was cooked perfectly."



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 09:13AM by WillySpooncock

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

No text found

Submitted July 30, 2015 at 06:31AM by DeepFriedHummus

went to a temporary tatoo parlor

it wouldn't wash off so I went back to complain but the shop was gone.



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 04:05AM by mocktheweakforfun

A short exchange at the liquor store

So, I'm at the counter in a liquor store, where I see that the cashier is wearing a mock Sons of Anarchy shirt that says, "Sloths of Anarchy" and has a sloth as the logo. As he's ringing me up, I'm trying to think of the perfect way to compliment his shirt. AHA! THIS WILL BE PERFECT

He hands me my receipt and I say, "Hey man, I like the shirt" falling for my trap he replies, "Oh thanks dude, do you watch the show?" My genius reply:

"Yeah I did, but it was kinda slow"

He doesn't even notice and continues to ask if I watched the whole thing. Maybe the world isn't ready for my dad jokes.



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 02:31AM by Wafflestomperchicken

This exchange elsewhere on reddit.



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 08:44AM by JPozz

Guy selling apple seeds at street...

Police officer came and asked him what is he doing..
man: I am selling apple seeds which make you smarter if you eat them.
PO: Really? do they really work?
man: well buy some and try...
PO: okay, give me 5 seeds
man: That is 10$ sir
PO gave man the money and ate the seeds and 2 min after that he said:
PO: wait a minute, I could have bought like 10 apples for that money and get like 20-30 seeds.....
man: see they already work :)
PO: Wow, give me 5 more!

Sry for bad english



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 04:20AM by zadar001

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son

They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks "What's are these, dad?" To which the man matter-of-factly replies "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex". "Oh I see" replied the boys pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school".

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks "Why are there 3 in this package?" The dad replies "Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday". "Cool!" says the boy.

He notices a 6-pack and asks "Then who are these for?" "Those are for college men" The dad answers "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday". "WOW!" exclaimed the boy.

"Then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12-pack. With a sigh, the dad replied "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March..."



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 06:47AM by alesbianseagull

So a Japanese company and a North American company decided to have a canoe race...

So a Japanese company and a North American company decided to have a canoe race on the St. Lawrence River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile. The North Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat.

A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the North American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing. So, North American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion.

They advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.

To prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team’s management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder.

It was called the"Rowing Team Quality First Program“, with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices, and bonuses.

The next year the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the North American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments in new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year’s racing team was outsourced to India.



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 02:55AM by XxmunkehxX

A Ham Sandwich Walks into a Bar..

Strolls up to the bartender and says 'Pint of lager please mate'

Bartender looks the Ham Sandwich up and down and says 'Sorry mate, we don't serve food here'



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 07:08AM by LookAtMyPartyDisco

What did the mexican fire chief name his two sons?

Hose A, and Hose B.



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 06:02AM by MeowMixSong

Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?

Because they all have phones.



Submitted July 30, 2015 at 06:11AM by pm_me_your__riddles

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

An Asian guy and this girl are driving in a car...

The girl decides it would be nice of her to give the guy a blowjob. They both agree. She starts to take off his pants, but before she gets past his underwear the girl looks up and says"Is it true what they say about Asian guys?" and he turns to her and says" Sadly it is." then he crashes the car and they both die.



Submitted July 29, 2015 at 11:21PM by lairknog