Monday, May 28, 2018

If I have a bee in my hand, what is in my eyes?

Beauty, because beauty is in the eyes of the bee-holder

Submitted May 27, 2018 at 11:46PM by Ensigmas77

What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick?

A hockey player will shower after three periods.

Submitted May 27, 2018 at 09:00PM by TheFamousIgnoramus

Yesterday a clown held a door open for me...

I thought it was a nice jester

Submitted May 28, 2018 at 02:25AM by Maxineshaw89

Sunday, May 27, 2018

It's a healthy relationship

My wife told me that she wanted to give me a deepthroat blowjob today.

"Really!" I exclaimed.

"No," She said, "April Foogargagggrraggggle."

That'll teach her to try and be funny...

Submitted May 27, 2018 at 02:20PM by DawneBennett

At work at PetSmart, little boy yells "guess what?! I have 3 knees!!" My manager takes the bait, says "oh yeah?"

He yells "yeah my left one, my right one, and a weeKNEE!" Child giggles ensue. Instilling dad jokes at a young age. Dadding done right. (:

Submitted May 27, 2018 at 12:37PM by redstert

What do you call a fat psychic?

A four-chin teller

Submitted May 27, 2018 at 01:41PM by priv_rex