Friday, April 20, 2018

Pa won't like it.

A farmer was walking down the road when he saw the boy from the farm next door struggling with his overturned his wagon of corn. The boy was red in the face and sweating from the effort.

The farmer said to the boy, "We're about to have supper. Why don't you come over and have some food and drink. Then, I'll come back and help you get this wagon up."

"That's kind of you," the boy answered, "but Pa won't like it."

"Nonsense, boy! We even have some ice cold lemonade. It's hot out here. Take a break," the farmer pressed.

"Well, OK," the boy finally agreed and added, "but Pa won't like it."

After a hearty dinner, they offered him some dessert. The boy said no, but the farmer and his wife insisted. The boy said, "Well, okay, but Pa won't like it."

Eventually the boy washed up, thanked his hosts, and said, "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."

"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?"

"Under the wagon."

Submitted April 20, 2018 at 11:02AM by oddgrue

A colleague of mine called me and asked me for a quick word...

I said "velocity" and hung up

Submitted April 20, 2018 at 08:08AM by tunafriendlydolphin

Have you heard about corduroy pillows?

They're making headlines everywhere!

Submitted April 20, 2018 at 10:44AM by UnagiSquirrel

Why couldn't the pony neigh very loud?

It was a little hoarse.

Submitted April 20, 2018 at 10:15AM by Oliludeea

Friend: Ur mom gay

Me: Which one

Submitted April 20, 2018 at 10:13AM by DrDoJ0

Otto the German was driving from Germany to Paris to visit some relatives.

A French cop stops him and asks the usual questions:

cop: name?

Otto: Otto

cop: address?

Otto: 341 Brandenburg Street, Berlin

cop: Occupation?

Otto: no, just visiting...

Submitted April 20, 2018 at 08:02AM by jayinfallible